In his magnum opus Annie Hall (1977), Woody Allen shares a famous anecdote, one which I will now blatantly steal, twist, and re-shape into a shield to protect myself against any impending urges from readers to shoot the messenger:

"There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, 'Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. 'The other one says, 'Yeah, I know; and such small portions.'"

In the case of this blog, the BIFF, and its close associates and attendees, this famous analogy mirrors the multiple complaints overheard about the barbecue/beer truck parked outside of the festival venue.

Popular opinion and outcry suggest that the proprietors are accepting "donations" instead of regular pricing.

According to patrons, the donation-to-portion ratio is drastically, and unfortunately, unbalanced. Three dollars in donation gets you about half a beer.

"Would six dollar equal a whole beer?" an anonymous source asked, his throat parched from spicy sliders.

We all know that there's a fine line between a tip jar and a donation box, and both depend on the generosity of patrons...

HOWEVER...

This does NOT mean stinginess on the part of the proprietor, OR the donor.

If the donor is unhappy, and the proprietor is grumpy, who pays the price? Everyone involves loses money and with a hungry and negative experience.

So what should we do to fix this culinary/frothy-headed problem?Can't we all just use a menu/serving size chart, so that everyone's at least on the same page?

Readers: What are your suggestions? Please, share your thoughts. We are all hungry, thirsty citizens.

Until our collective donation boxes, whistles, and appetites come to a reasonable agreement, I'm afraid that this hold trilogy of food vendor commerce will remain increasingly - and uncomfortably - dry.

~by Duncan Pittman